Walmart

    Jennifer, a manager at Wal-Mart, had the task of
  hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a
  stack of 20 resumes she found four people who were equally
  qualified. Jennifer  decided to call the four in and ask
  them only one question. Their answer would determine which of
  them would get the job.

  The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, Jennifer asked,
  'What is the fastest thing you know of?'
 
  The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning.
  'That's very good!' replied Jennifer.
 'And, now you sir?', she asked the second man.  'Hmmm....let me see 'A blink! It
 comes and goes and you don't know that it ever   happened.. A BLINK is the
  fastest thing I know of.'
  'Excellent!' said Jennifer.'The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed.'

She then turned to the third man, who was contemplating  his reply..
 
 'Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on   the wall there's a
 light switch.. When you flip that   switch, way out across the pasture the light on the
 barn comes on in less than an instant. 'Yip, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest
 thing I can think of'.

  Jennifer was very impressed with the third answer and thought she had found her
 man. 'It 's hard to beat the speed of light,' she  said.
  Turning to BUBBA,the fourth and final man, Jennifer   posed the same  question.
 
  Old Bubba replied, 'After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest
  thing known is DIARRHEA.'
  'WHAT!?' said Jennifer, stunned by the response...
 
  'Oh sure', said BUBBA. 'You see, the other day I  wasn't feeling so good, and I ran
  for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already shit my
 pants.'
 
 BUBBA is now the new greeter at the Wal-Mart near you!